A Day Like Today

Sitting down and typing out what JUST happened might be the only way I can unwind and laugh at this situation.

Every picture I have posted recently of our sweet Evelyn is cute. You may not always agree, but I haven't posted pictures of the bad days. I rarely, if ever, take pictures on "bad days". But oh my, was today quite a day. I wish I had a picture for it.

Evelyn and I got out of the house because Korey is working on our new house all day (I'll post about that soon). Toys do not occupy this child for long. She wants to be going, doing, seeing, hearing, feeling, talking, playing with everyone and thing but our house and me. She will play here, but gets much more needy and frustrated in a shorter amount of time than if we are out and about. We went to the Memphis Zoo twice this week. We like to do things. But it was a rainy day, so we headed to find this Momma some more maternity shirts. I borrowed a lot of my maternity clothes last summer when I was pregnant with Evelyn and gave them all back. Pregnant again. Regular clothes only cut it for so long. So we are on a mission. Cheap, modest, big belly shirts. We head to Ross... No such luck. Evelyn did great; talking to baby dolls on the shelves in the children's section and smile screaming at real kids she sees walking around or also riding in carts. No modest maternity shirts. So we head on to Old Navy hoping to find something. Even if not maternity, maybe just stretchy shirts in a bigger size (and maybe on sale?!). Evelyn has been up for over 2 hours at this point. Usually this isn't a big deal if we are out where she can look at things and such. We find some shirts! Hoping they fit right, but not playing the guessing game, we wait for the large dressing room so I can push her stroller in with me. Five... ten... minutes goes by while I try to entertain her. Toy. Peek-a-boo. Another toy. Snack bowl. Lids. More toys. Bored. Let's try some puffs. Okay that's working. Alright finally in the dressing room. I face her towards the mirror and she's good. Nope getting cranky again. Pushing 3 hours of being awake, so I give her a Mum Mum (organic rice rusk - pretty much a really thin flattened rice cake type flavorless "cracker" that is great for babies). Evelyn loves these. Now that she has teeth on top and bottom, she even bites off little pieces. So she's entertained and I am trying on shirts as quickly as I can. Evelyn makes a coughing noise. I decide to unbuckle her just in case she needs to sit up more. Too late. Throw up. Oh, not done. More throw up. Out the nose, all in the car seat (that I just washed Thursday because of a similar incident), alllll over Evelyn and partially Momma. Sigh. It smells. I'm pregnant. Sigh. Now I'm the person taking forever in the only large dressing room. After finally getting that situation under control, handled, cleaned, whatever, Evelyn is happy go lucky and happy screaming at the top of her lungs in the dressing room and through out the rest of the store like NOTHING happened. Okay. Great. She started bawling the minute we got in the car. At least it's only me at that point. A few more things happened in process of trying to get home that just made it all seem a whole lot worse. But I'll spare you those complaints :)

The point of this post is that being a mom is often gross, stressful, and so tiring. I love it. I love her silly babbles to her doll in the back seat and then finally falling asleep 30 seconds from our house. I love that she makes me more Christlike because of the patience and humility she brings to my life. And as a sweet friend Rachel reminded me this week, I am not enough for Evelyn. I never will be. Days like today, really remind me. I look forward to the day that she starts to understand that I'm not enough and that's why we have Christ.

Glorifying Him because He is Enough

Identity in What?

This week I came across a blog post shared by a friend on Facebook. Read if you'd like, but I'll give you the gist of it. It's by a 25-year-old mom that, like me, grew up as social media grew up. We were the target group for MySpace and Xanga and then Facebook came out just as we were headed to college. The parents that have pre-teens and teenagers may not know social media as well or even care to use it. Their kids, however, are a part of it and haven't known life without it. The woman writing the post had to come up with a lesson/talk to some middle school girls at her church about finding your identity in Christ. Through this, she realized that young girls and boys alike are now finding out their popularity and cool factor through social media. Even media as simple as Instagram. How many followers they have and/or how many likes they got on a photo is determining to them their self worth and value. I think it was a great wake up call to many parents who may not realize that a little app of sharing photos could be so influential in their kids' lives.

What I did not think about when deciding to read the post, was how convicted I would be, at 24 years old, that I am allowing social media to determine my self worth and value. 

Sometimes I post pictures of our daughter Evelyn, hoping to get more likes than that other mom's pic of her kid. I make statuses about something she did or our family did and hope that it gets comments and feedback.  I compare myself, my home, my life to others and how they portray it through social media. I get frustrated when people don't like my articles I share about Christ and His glory or abortion and its wickedness. If someone were to skim my Facebook profile, they may think I find my identity in being a mom over being a Christian because that is what you see more. I'd rather see a high number of "thumbs up" than to spread news about Christ, not realizing how many might read it, but not "like" it.  I sat reading Proverbs 31 and Ecclesiastics 2 this morning. I was reflecting on what characteristics a woman of God has and was reminded not to be chasing after the wind. I can't be chasing after media popularity. Or any popularity for that matter. The only identity that matters, is my identity in Christ. "My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness." Nothing less. I have no hope in my statuses, my instragram photos, my blog comments, etc. No hope. I must "wholly lean on Jesus' name." I pray that I would daily seek to know God better by knowing his Son better. I will be able to stand face to face with God because of a mediator I have in Christ and that has nothing to do with who I am or what I have done. Apart from Christ, I have nothing. Apart from Christ, I am nothing. I need to rest in Him. My identity should proclaim Christ's goodness and grace. My identity should not involve an equation that involves being "liked."

So as I have recently come back to blogging, I want to make sure that I am doing it for the right reasons. I wanted a place to rattle some thoughts, to journal some public memories and allow friends to be more "caught up" with our lives as we are farther away. I don't expect to become some famous blog that women are following all over the world. I highly doubt that. I do love to share life though and this is a way I'd like to do that.

Glorifying Him by resting in Him and making Him known.

I'm Back!

I'm not sure what compels me to write or to not write, but I have decided I'd like to give it another go.  So much has happened since I was last blogging. We found out in December 2011 that we were pregnant with our first child due to arrive August 2012. Nausea was prominent in the first trimester, the second trimester was energetic and enjoyable, and the third trimester was during the heat of the summer with swollen feet and an achey back! Evelyn JoAnn arrived 5 days early on August 9, 2012 at 8lbs 3 oz and 20.5 inches long. She had and still has a full head of hair that gets us more compliments and strangers talking to us/her than I ever imagined would come along with a baby. We had a great labor and birth and were able (by the grace of God) to go naturally. We loved our midwife at OU and our sweet doula. They were great support!

The first few months were rough. Evelyn is what we have considered a pretty needy baby, when comparing her to friends and family.  If she was awake she wanted to be held, bounced, and "shh'd" or nursing. She wouldn't take a bottle even if she was starving. It resulted in hiccups, crying, screaming, etc. Making me one tired momma... without any breaks. Newborns and newborn pictures are not the peace and quiet they end up portraying. 

She has grown up so quickly though and we have enjoyed watching her learn new things and become this little person with characteristics, qualities, likes and dislikes. She loved "daddy spa time" with Korey. Her changing table was in the bathroom and when you turned the water faucet on, she went into a mesmerized state. She loves to walk around being held facing outward and kicks her legs like crazy when she is excited! Bath time is a favorite as well. Life keeps moving. 8 months old now.

We decided in October 2012 that we would be moving to Memphis, TN in January 2013 to be apart of Grace Church Memphis. We found out on Christmas Eve 2012 that we would be expecting Henry Baby #2 August 2013. Evelyn is a big sister and has NO IDEA! Also meant that nursing supply was diminishing/changing and we started to try formula/bottles again. It finally worked... and we never looked back. I wanted to be able to nurse her longer for the health benefits, connection, etc. Not to mention, formula is EXPENSIVE!!! However, she seemed to be much more content after switching. Then we moved!

We have been in Memphis for 3 months and Evelyn has gotten 6 teeth, starting babbling, and started worming/army crawling/moving across the floor with her various methods. She can sit up and is eating all sorts of food. We cloth diapered from about 6 weeks-5 months. With the switch toformula, the diapers were unbearable for a bit and having just moved, laundry was obnoxious to keep up with. We are just now trying to get back into cloth diapering at 8 months old.

Loving Memphis and the sweet brothers and sisters at Grace church. We are preparing for baby #2, which we found out this week is another precious girl and her name is Felicity Ruth.

Our goal here in Memphis is to bring the most glory we can to Christ. We pray that we will begin to invite unbelievers into our home, to befriend them, feed them, and share the gospel with them.

Trying my utmost to glorify Him as a wife and a mother here in Memphis.